Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Tuesday morning - should have!!!

Winter is making itself known here in sunny SA. The mornings can be rather chilly even if it warms up significantly during the day. This morning I made sure my boys were snug and warm before heading off to their relative schools. Beanie hats, gloves and shoes.

Today was back to school for private schools. I survived the holidays!! Question is can I survive the shows, but that is another story!

Back to why I should have!!! On my way back from dropping Josh off at his nursery school, I noticed quite a smart car pulled up to side of the road and two young school children were getting out, on a very busy main road intersection. As the traffic light was red, I had time to notice what was going on around me. These girls could not have been much older than my boys and they were being put out in the cold, on a busy intersection and the youngest had NO shoes on. None whatsoever. I should have figured out how to turn around collect those 2 girls and before dropping them off at their school found the youngest one some shoes. My heart is broken because I did not when I should have.

Everyday I am reminded how grateful I must be that my children have clothes and warm clothes, how we have a roof over our heads even if temporarily and we're able to put a decent plate of food on the table. That even though my car is old, guzzles petrol and could give in at anytime that I have transport to fetch and carry and do errands.

Times are getting tough here. I know we will get through it somehow. But my despondency grows with each passing day. Is my work that horrendous, is it crap, is it too expensive - what is the 'if' factor that could change it all. My etsy views are less and less and it's getting to the point of why even bother. The why bother is because maybe if you list something new each and every day that something might change, that someone will have faith in a payment system other than PayPal, that giving us artists here in SA a chance to prove ourselves and you won't be dissapointed.

Yep, getting those school shoes would have meant no spare cash at all but I know deep down I should have. That little girl's feet and face will be stuck in my mind because of what I didn't do and what I should have done. Because no matter how tough times are for me someone out there is suffering more.

My heart is aching...................................................

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