Friday, September 19, 2008

Loving the mothers we are

This is a beautiful blog and I'm glad I came across it. It was just what I need to find after my day yesterday and a week of new play dates and meeting new moms.

taken from :

Loving the mothers we are

One of the hardest jobs we face is learning to appreciate the mothers we are. Like thieving quilters we steal bits of other mothers, from dreams, books and playground conversations, and stitch them together into an ideal mother. We hold it up to the light and admire its colours and patterns and despair that we will ever match its splendor.

We see Susan’s patience, Beth’s outdoorsy nature, and Caroline Ingall’s virtues. We envy Jan her homemaking skills, and Hannah her playful spirit. We steal these facets, but never the whole. Do we see that Susan’s patience is countered by permissiveness, or know that Beth worries that she’ll never teach her children math? No, because that realism is counter to the crazy quilt we seem driven to construct.

I have despaired. I have known deep in my heart that I will never be the playful, wise, patient, and virtuous mother of my dreams. One day I realized that if I were all of these women, or even one of these women, I wouldn’t be myself. I wouldn’t have my strengths and my quirks, and it wouldn’t be stories about me that my children tell when they are grown.

Am I a playful mother? No, but I’m a great storytime mother. And I a fabulous housewife? No, but I don’t worry when the kids make a crafty mess. I am me. I am beautiful and strange, riddled with weaknesses and buoyed by strengths.

It’s time to love the mother you are. Throw away the crazy quilt. Make instead a patchwork of *your* days. It will have tears, and missing threads, and little sticky jam fingerprints. It will have the colour and pattern of your life woven into its design. It will be wonderful and unique, just as you are a wonderful and unique mother.

I'm off to think about the mother I am.


Deb said...

Darn Mich - you mean I need to figure what kind of Mother I am ....apart from tired???

Now this is going to keep me busy for a while ;o)

You know to be honest I gave up trying to figure me years ago - I'm not supermum, but I'm content with knowing that I am working at being a Mum to th best of my abiity. Some days we just cope better than others - & on those days we don't, well we learn from that.

angelinabeadalina said...

Aw, Mich, that's a though-provoking one, isn't it? I like it. I can tell other glass peeps to remember that they should only compare their work to their own work over time-- be yourself, and only worry about how you are progressing, not how you think you measure up to someone else. You'd think I would've been able to apply that to motherhood by now, huh?? I don't even try to be supermom because I suck at the housecleaning stuff and I'm not into organized sports or clubs, BUT I most certainly have felt guilty for not trying to be supermom even though I know that's not me. Hmm...maybe I oughtta work on my perspective, be proud of the mom that I am without feeling guilty.